Time and Chocolate
by NikkiEvans
Summary: Kurt plans to spend the anniversary of his mother's death alone, but then Blaine Anderson is suddenly standing in his kitchen, making him hot chocolate. Spoilers up to 4x09. Little bit of fluff, little bit of angst.


A/N: I wanted to post this since I'm fairly sure the Christmas episode will make this impossible or something. Enjoy! Reviews are always welcomed.

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**_"Time heals what reason cannot." -Seneca_**

It's December 26, the eleventh anniversary of Elizabeth Katherine Hummel's death.

Kurt should probably spend this day with his dad, especially since his time in Lima for the holidays is limited. It would make sense to lean on each other. Burt Hummel isn't really an expressive man, though. He likes to pretend as though today is like any other day. After an early morning trip to the cemetery, Burt joined Carole this morning on a trip out to Illinois to see Carole's parents with Finn. Kurt should be there, but his father didn't press the issue when Kurt refused. There was a little bit of a fight last year, but Burt understands that they both have their different ways of grieving on this day.

Kurt spends the day in his house. It pains him a bit that his mother never lived in this house. She would've loved it.

He takes a rather large box out of his closet and a photo album off of his bookshelf. At the top of the box is a vinyl record. Elizabeth Hummel was a music teacher and lover. Her record collection was vast, but Burt couldn't look at a wall full of records every day. It was a reminder. So he donated most of her records, but Kurt held onto a few, the ones she would sing along to.

The Beatles' White Album is first. There is a Fleetwood Mac album, a Rolling Stones album and a Sheryl Crow cassette underneath. Kurt was always partial to The Beatles, but he is debating starting with Fleetwood Mac. The doorbell interrupts his internal debate.

He heads downstairs and opens the door to find a shivering Blaine Anderson. "Hey," Blaine says, "I've got hot chocolate."

Kurt steps aside and lets him in. His jaw is still dropped as he follows Blaine into the kitchen because they broke up. Yet Blaine is in his kitchen boiling milk.

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Making hot chocolate. I know you hate when hot chocolate tastes like chocolate water, so I'm using milk. I know, so many calories, but it's Godiva hot chocolate mix. _Godiva_. I know you can't resist designer chocolate and it's skim milk."

"I actually understood the making hot chocolate bit. Why are you in my kitchen making hot chocolate?"

"Well it would be cold if I made it beforehand."

"Blaine Devon Anderson!"

Blaine finally stops bustling around the kitchen and looks up at Kurt. "I don't want you to be alone today."

"I'm not going to be alone. Rachel is coming over."

"No," Blaine says as he goes back to making hot chocolate, "she and her dads are in Columbus."

"I meant Mercedes."

"Who is stuck with her grandparents all day. Tina and Mike are both doing a service project at their church. Quinn is working in a soup kitchen. Artie is headed to a video game convention in Michigan. Sam is back in Kentucky or Tennessee or whichever southern state that he really should have an accent from. Puck is not qualified to hang out with you when you're sad. Santana and Brittany are busy having makeup sex. Sugar is available, but I feel like you wouldn't invite her over."

"You checked everyone's schedules?"

"I didn't want you to be alone today, and I didn't think I would be your first choice."

Kurt's heart aches just a little at the pain he can hear in Blaine's voice. "This doesn't change anything," Kurt says.

"I know," Blaine doesn't look up from his cooking.

"Okay, I'll be up in my room."

"I'll be up when this is done."

Kurt goes back to his room, puts on Fleetwood Mac (in an attempt to avoid listening to Blackbird with Blaine), and is more confused than ever. Sure, they had spoken on the phone after Sectionals. They even had the big conversation about why Blaine cheated. Yet it was still awkward. Blaine still cheated and Kurt still wasn't ready to forgive him.

The morning after Blaine told Kurt that he cheated, Kurt had the intention of talking, but when Blaine came out Kurt couldn't say anything. He wanted to, but then he felt his throat get tight and his eyes sting. Blaine just said, "I'm sorry. I'll leave."

Kurt has had time to absorb the information and analyze it a thousand times in his head. He still doesn't understand it and that still makes him angry. How is he supposed to forgive that?

Blaine enters with the hot chocolate and Kurt sits on the foot of his bed. "I used the travel mugs since they have lids."

"Thanks. Have I shown you this photo album before?"

"No, last year you showed me the blue one."

"This is from when my mom was a teenager and the early years with my dad."

"Oh my god, Burt with hair!" Blaine laughs and Kurt laughs with him. Blaine sits down next to him and Kurt explains what's happening in each picture, stories his dad told him. They end up moving farther back on the bed as time passes. Eventually, they're resting against Kurt's throw pillows, heads close together as Kurt narrates.

It's an album of Elizabeth and Burt, really. It starts in high school when she met him and ends with their wedding.

"Your parents were together for eight years before getting married?"

"Well, they broke up a few times. I don't know why. There is a smaller album in the attic labeled 'College' and there are some other guys in photos with her."

"They came back to each other though?"

"Yeah, obviously. They loved each other. I asked my dad about it when I was 12 or 13. I asked him why they waited eight years. He said they just found each other too soon."

Blaine is silent for a moment. "Do you think we found each other too soon, Kurt?"

"Sometimes. Other times, I think we found each other right when we needed each other most. I would've drowned without you, you know. I would've spent another two years being shoved around."

"Don't think you didn't save me too." Blaine holds his hand. "You made my fear go away. I would still be hiding behind that Dalton blazer." He doesn't elaborate because he doesn't have to with Kurt. It's one of the things he misses most. Kurt knows what Sadie Hawkins did to him, how he was afraid to stand out in a crowd. He doesn't have to explain his instinct to please everyone but himself. It's familiarity.

"I know." Kurt gives a small smile.

"What-What if that's why we found each other? To save the other? But what if that's it for us? We saved each other and we're done?"

"Blaine, don't play the fate game. We don't know what's supposed to happen. We create our own destinies."

"And what do you want your destiny to be, Kurt?"

"I want it to be you. I've always wanted it to be you, Blaine. We'll be okay."

"Kurt, we're never going to be like we were. You're never going to trust me the same way."

"I didn't say we would be, and I'm hoping that eventually you prove to me that I can trust you again."

"I'm trying."

"I know. I get it. A box set of Gilmore Girls isn't going to fix it, though Blaine. I don't think there is anything you can do to make this go by faster."

"I feel like I have to do things for you."

"This? Right here? This is great. But it doesn't make me forget what happened. I think I just need time. I love you, Blaine. I'm really trying to forgive you, but I can't right now."

"Okay." Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. "Tell me about this one. Burt's Graduation?"

Kurt takes a deep breath and goes back to telling stories. Every once in a while the record will stop and one of them will change it. Blaine changes the next one to The Beatles. They go on for a while and Blaine notices Kurt yawning.

"Did you sleep last night?" Blaine asks, knowing the answer already.

"I never can after Christmas. Too much excitement from the day and dread for today. I'm actually kind of exhausted and I've only been drinking hot chocolate and talking all day."

"You can nap."

"Nap?"

"Yeah, it's 4. I'll wake you up when your dad comes back."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem."

"No, for everything today. For knowing that I needed someone and being that someone even though we're still in our weird friends phase."

"Think it's really just a phase?"

"I just need time, Blaine. A lot more time."

Blaine nodded and moved to get off the bed. "Would you mind staying in bed?" Kurt asks.

Blaine freezes and slowly sinks back down. He watches Kurt shut his eyes mere inches away from him on the bed. He knows that wrapping his arms around him is off limits…right? Blaine is confused about a lot of things. He spent the day in bed with Kurt while Kurt told him things that he had never told anyone else. It was personal and intimate on a level that made Blaine feel like Kurt's boyfriend, but there is this invisible barrier. The 'friend' barrier. When would they get past that? Blaine isn't sure how time would fix it.

Blackbird starts playing. God, he was so different when he met Kurt, so stupid. _I'm still pretty stupid_, he thinks. Kurt shifts in his sleep, eyes moving under his eyelids already. Blaine watches his face. He really is beautiful. He didn't understand how there were people who didn't think so.

He wants to make it right, but there isn't anything else to do. He fucked up massively, and now he has to lie in bed with the love of his life and restrain himself from touching the boy. He wants to push his bangs out of his eyes and watch Kurt's face scrunch up. He wants to hold him in his arms and feel the tension in Kurt's shoulders fall away as he practically melts into Blaine. He wonders if Kurt is torturing him on purpose. He knows that he would deserve the torture.

After a while Kurt shifts again, putting his head on Blaine's chest. Blaine gives in and wraps his arms around him. Even in Kurt's sleep, Blaine feels Kurt relax into the safety of his touch, the muscles under Blaine's hands relaxing ever so slightly. For the first time, Blaine realizes that he might not have completely lost Kurt._ Time_, Blaine thinks, _He just needs time, and I can give him that._


End file.
